Monthly Archives: February 2010

The key to growing is believing that you always have room to grow. It’s strange to me that people often believe the opposite, limiting their growth. Comments like, “I’m too old to change” or “I’m set in my ways” are just sad. How can any of us have the presumption to believe that we can possibly know all there is to know in 80 or so years. Change is hard. I get that. It is comfortable to stay in the known and transition from one state to another can feel very uneasy but let’s face it, nothing worth having is easy. Children provide us often with the most unimagined rewards but getting to that point requires hard work, exhaustion and sometimes despair. Do any of us sail through relationships, careers? But it has to be worth the effort. We have to keep our goals in mind and refuse to settle. We have to work on fear. Fear, the very thing that closes our minds and “keeps us safe” also leaves us fragile and vulnerable and unable to achieve our own greatness. Sometimes fear does keep us safe but we need to learn the difference between those times and the times when it needs to be stared right in the face and challenged. Does aging make this too hard? I’m 52 and I can’t speak for an 80 year-old. Do we just become too tired? I refuse to believe this and if I’m wrong, I will go down kicking and screaming!

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Parents must listen

As parents, one of the fine lines we walk is between attentiveness to our child’s emotions and remaining in charge. This is particularly difficult when dealing with a strong willed child who is very emotional! Speaking from experience, it is very easy to get caught up in the emotional side and equally easy to lose sight of the “being in charge” one! Our married son and his wife have been staying with us while he recovers from his back surgery and the other day he stated bluntly, that in his opinion, our 10 year old daughter ran the house. He also gently pointed out that I have a particular problem witnessing pain in my kids. Hmmm…. When did he become so insightful!

I am aware of this battle. I research and write about these exact issues! How then do I lose sight of them in myself? It’s called being human. Maintaining balance between what I bring to the parenting experience and my child’s input, is a challenge. I want to be the best parent that I can be and for me this means remaining open to new ideas, having a willingness to look at myself and being committed to change. These are the things I work on constantly so that when my son speaks, I listen.

Does this mean that I will become the perfect parent? No. But I will aim for better. (Read Joe Rich’s book, Parenting, The Long Journey)

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post surgery and firetrucks

We are now 9 days post surgery and Ilan is doing well. His back has healed wonderfully. I really believe the arnica he took helped a lot in that regard. I’m a firm believer. The week was pretty rough. Having had a few surgeries myself I should have remembered the experience. Aside from the terrible pain it is an emotional roller coaster. Anyway I think his feelings of fragility are less and he is feeling more optimistic about outcome. Onward and upward.

Dustin came in from university and because Ilan and his wife, Carrie are staying with us for a bit, we had a full house for the first time in a long time. In this honour, my husband and I decided to make a scrumptious dinner last night. We don’t have a barbecue yet so had to pan-fry the chicken, which had been marinaded in, amongst other things, brown sugar. In no time at all, the smoke set off the smoke alarm and then it was simply a comedy of errors. We forgot  that the smoke alarm was connected to the alarm company and unbeknown to anyone, the phone had been left off the hook. (Ok, fine, I did it!) By the time the alarm company contacted my husband on his cell, they had already notified the fire department. Despite attempts to halt the dispatch, lo and behold, 2 fire trucks with many firemen duly came. They were jovial and understanding and all ended well.

After the week we’ve had, the experience felt like light relief!

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