"Marsha Jacobson does parents a great favor."
Feeling Bad Is Not Always A Bad Thing
January 2nd, 2014 ¦ Marsha Jacobson -
The idea that we can influence our child’s behavior by focusing only on their behavior is simply put, a recipe for disaster. I’m not saying ignore bad behavior – far from it. But if you separate your child’s feelings from the way they are behaving, you are not giving them the proper tools to guide their behavior going forward. Behavior stems from a feeling. It doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Changing your child’s behavior without allowing them to understand the connection to the way they are feeling will maybe give you short term change – not what most parents want. All feelings, good and bad, are important and useful. In many different ways, understanding their feelings will help your child have better relationships with their friends, be more successful at school, and feel happier about who they are. Here are some ideas on feelings to ponder over:
Don’t be too quick to rush in and make your child feel better when they are sad, angry or scared. Let them experience the feeling and feel confident in the knowledge that with each minute that you allow them that experience, they are learning things about themselves that will help them face, with strength, a life that is not always kind.
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